Changing Leaves and Changing Thoughts
A poem about the wind blowing away my negative thoughts along with the leaves
Leaves swirl around me as I walk
The wind has stripped them from the trees to which they were once attached so firmly
The wind also whisks away worried thoughts formerly stuck in my head
The thought that I cannot bear any more bad news
The thought that I am powerless to stop the hate, greed, and lies that cause so much suffering and death
The thought that my work doesn’t matter and neither do I
The thought that I am not good enough and can never do enough to be worthy of love
Those thoughts aren’t blown as far away as I would like them to be
And they will probably return
But for now the wind has swept them off
And cleared the way for new thoughts to fill my head
The thought that I am lovable now and don’t have to prove my worthiness
The thought that I am enough and always have been
The thought that love has conquered hate before and will again
The thought that small acts of kindness can make a big difference
The thought that there are still reasons for hope in the midst of despair
And joy in the midst of sorrow
—
Paid subscribers, read on for the story of what inspired me to write this poem and please share your reactions to it in the comments!
I wrote this poem a few days ago, for an online publication called “Know Thyself, Heal Thyself.” It was in response to a themed poetry prompt that reminded me how much calmer I feel after my walks in a local park. Those walks clear my head of anxious thoughts - at least temporarily - and enable me to enjoy the present moment and focus my attention on the leaves, wildflowers, and trees blowing in the wind.
Shortly before I wrote it, a loved one who lives in a distant state got a devastating medical diagnosis and was told he would probably die within a year. The U.S. House of Representatives had descended into chaos as Republicans fought over who would replace the leader they had ousted weeks earlier. The ongoing conflict in the Middle East had erupted into violence again, and many civilians had been killed or taken as hostages. Thousands more had been wounded, displaced, or otherwise endangered.
After I wrote it, the bad news kept coming. The death toll continues to rise in the Middle East, and that conflict has fueled an increase in hate speech and violence against Jews, Palestinians, and Muslims who live in the United States and elsewhere.
Meanwhile, the man who murdered 18 people and injured dozens more in the most recent (as of this writing) mass shooting in the U.S. is still at large. The leader House Republicans finally chose has previously said and done things that give people good reason to fear what will happen now that he holds this powerful position.
So it’s easy for me to fall back into despair and anger. It’s easy to feel powerless. But then I think of kindnesses, even small ones, that truly do make a difference. The other day at the grocery store an older woman asked me to hand her some cereal boxes she could not reach, and she was so grateful when I did. A high school student I had tutored gave me a gift card to thank me for helping him improve his SAT score and write a college admission essay. A little girl walked up to me in a waiting room, smiled as she handed me a flower, and said, “A pretty flower for a pretty lady.”
And I think of bigger kindnesses, too, like the friend who offered to let my husband and me move in with her when we couldn’t afford to renew our lease. And people who invite complete strangers whose homes have been destroyed to live with them. And people who donate their bone marrow or one of their kidneys to save the lives of people they’ve never met. And firefighters, humanitarian aid workers, and others who risk their own lives as they attempt to save people they don’t know.
The bad news gets more media coverage, and loud, angry shouts are often easier to hear than kind, encouraging words spoken softly. But when I look for good news and kind people, I find both. I hope you do, too. And I hope we can share good news and show kindness as often and to as many people as we possibly can. It helps us and everyone else cope with all the bad stuff.