Changing Lives Issue #2

What challenges are you facing as you try to change your life?

Changing Our Lives is Challenging

Even when we are highly motivated to change some aspect of our lives, it is not easy. This issue of “Changing Lives” focuses on what makes it so challenging. I will share what makes it hard for me, and I hope that you will do the same in the comments.

I’ve identified three factors that affect my ability to make changes:

1. The thought and behavior patterns I want to change are deeply ingrained.

2. I hesitate to try new things because I’m afraid I will fail or look foolish.

3. My inner critic tells me I am not capable of making the changes I desire.

Let’s take a closer look at each of these factors and how they make it difficult for me (and probably many of you) to change.

Thought and behavior patterns I want to change are deeply ingrained

The unhelpful thoughts and unhealthy behaviors I want to change did not develop overnight. They are lifelong patterns that are familiar and comfortable. They often seem to happen automatically, without any conscious choice on my part to think or do those things. They are just normal parts of my day that I am used to. That makes it hard to change them.

I hesitate to try new things because I’m afraid I will fail or look foolish

My fear of failing or looking foolish when I make mistakes sometimes keeps me from trying new things. Of course, it is impossible to change my life without engaging in new activities! Attempting something new means I will definitely make mistakes as I learn, and perhaps look foolish (or at least think I do). It also means that I could utterly fail to accomplish what I try to do.

My inner critic tells me I’m not capable of making the changes I desire

I have a harsh inner critic who says mean things to me all the time. I am learning not to let her run my life and stop me from making the changes I want to make, but it’s an ongoing battle. She tries to keep me safe by telling me I’m not capable of doing the new things I want to do. She advises me to stick with what I already know how to do. According to my inner critic, making changes is too risky.

Now it’s your turn! Please share in the comments what makes it hard for you to make changes in your life.

In the next issue, I’ll focus on how to overcome the challenges we all face when we try to change our lives.