Changing Lives Issue #3

How to Overcome Obstacles We Face When Trying to Change Our Lives

We all encounter obstacles whenever we try to change our lives, so let’s look at how we can overcome them and achieve our goals.

Start by Identifying Your Obstacles

The first step to overcoming the obstacles that keep us from making the changes we want to make is identifying those obstacles. In the last issue, I listed three that I have noticed in my life:

1. The thought and behavior patterns I want to change are deeply ingrained.

2. I hesitate to try new things because I’m afraid I will fail or look foolish.

3. My inner critic tells me I am not capable of making the changes I desire.

One reader commented that her impatience and desire for control are obstacles; those are also issues for me.

So once we’ve identified our obstacles, how do we overcome them? I’ll share what works for me; please share what helps you in the comments.

Actively Challenge Thoughts that Keep You Stuck

When I identify a specific thought that is preventing me from making changes in my life, I write it down. I then question the truth of that thought.

I do that by listing examples of previous times in my life when I had that thought and it turned out to be wrong. For instance, if I think “I’m not capable of changing,” I list changes I have accomplished in the past.

If I can’t come up with examples from my own life, I challenge the negative thought in some other way. I overcame my belief that because I am 53 it is too late for me to change careers by researching and writing about people older than me who have successfully started new careers.

Replace Those Thoughts With More Positive Ones

The key here is that the new thoughts also have to be ones that you genuinely believe. Overly optimistic statements that you don’t think are true won’t work (at least they don’t for me). Instead of replacing “I can’t do this” with “yes I can” or “my success is guaranteed,” use alternatives like “The only way to know if I can do this is to try,” or “I can’t predict the future, so at this point I can’t possibly know whether or not I can do this.”

Feel Your Fear but Make Changes Anyway

Most people fear change, at least to some degree. Whatever we’re used to, even if it’s not something (or someone) we want to be part of our lives any longer, often feels safe. It is familiar and comfortable; replacing it seems too difficult and threatening.

Our fears can keep us from taking the risks necessary to change. The only way to overcome those fears is to start making the changes that scare us. We have to take action without knowing what the results will be.

We don’t need to have all of the steps necessary to achieve the changes we want to make figured out in advance. That’s often impossible. We just need to take one small action that starts the change process and keep taking baby steps in the direction we want to go.

Conclusion

Change is possible, but there are obstacles that can make it difficult. I use four strategies to help me overcome them that I believe will help you too:

• Start by identifying your obstacles.

• Actively challenge thoughts that keep you stuck.

• Replace those thoughts with more positive ones.

• Feel your fear but make changes anyway.

Please let me know in the comments what you think of my strategies and share what you do to overcome the obstacles that you face as you try to make changes in your life.