Changing Lives Issue #9
Small things we can do to change the lives of others
Previous issues of “Changing Lives” have focused on things we can do to change our own lives or cope with unwanted changes we experience.
It is essential to recognize and change our unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. However, we also need to look beyond ourselves to see others who need our help to change their lives. This article lists three small things we can do to help others.
Acknowledge people who are often ignored
Where I live, there are homeless people on many street corners. They hold up signs asking for help. At first, I avoided making eye contact as I drove past because I didn’t have any money to give.
I now smile and wave. Most of the time, people smile and wave back. Sometimes I lower my window and say something like, “I’m sorry I don’t have any money to give, but I wish you well.” I am almost always thanked.
My husband takes the time to strike up conversations with our servers in restaurants or cashiers at the grocery store. He asks them how their day is going and, when time permits, other questions about their lives.
I used to find that unnecessary and think he was wasting their time, but I soon realized how much his friendliness and questions meant to them. They were used to dealing with people who only cared about their ability to provide a service, and only talked to them to express a need or complain about something.
It is quick and easy to smile and wave or ask someone how their day is going, but that small act can make a big difference to someone who is used to being ignored.
Fact check claims before you share them
Social media and other websites make it quick and easy for false claims to be repeated often, circulated widely, and accepted as true by large numbers of people. It is also quick and easy to determine whether a statement is true before you share it.
This website provides a helpful list of websites devoted to researching claims presented as facts. Some are well-known, like Politifact and Snopes; others are less familiar but still reliable sources of information.
I know how tempting it can be to immediately share a claim that sounds factual and supports your beliefs. However, it is well worth taking a few moments to check and see if it is actually true before you pass it on.
If someone who disagrees with you can prove what you shared is inaccurate, you will lose credibility and could harm the cause or group of people you are trying to support.
Reach out and listen to people who are hurting
I probably should have listed this one first, because I think it is the most important. I have benefited greatly from supportive friends and family members who were willing to listen to me cry and tell them how hopeless and worthless I felt. I have also reached out to others who were struggling and listened as they shared their pain.
You could literally save someone’s life by reaching out and listening to them when they are hurting (and helping them get professional help when necessary). According to the CDC, 46,000 people in the U.S. died by suicide in 2020, and suicide was the second leading cause of death for people aged 10-14 and 25-34.
We all go through difficult periods in our lives when we need support and encouragement. We also each have the ability to reach out and help others who are hurting.
Final thoughts
There are three small things any of us can do that have the potential to change other people’s lives:
Acknowledge people who are often ignored.
Fact check claims before you share them.
Reach out and listen to people who are hurting.
It is quick and easy to brighten someone’s day just by talking to them. We can also help people by making sure we do not spread false information, especially claims that certain groups of people are dangerous or have other negative characteristics.
I’d love to hear your stories about what has happened when you’ve done any of these things. I would also appreciate your suggestions of other small things we can do to change the lives of others for the better. There is so much bad news out there; let’s share examples of positive actions that help people.
I would like to be able to connect with people however am often tongue tied knowing what to say, any suggestions anyone!
I have a friend who passes homeless people often on her commute into Minneapolis. She keeps a stash of ziplock bags full of useful items like toothbrush and toothpaste, soap, washcloth, etc. in her car and gives them one of them.