Do You Want to Learn and Grow?

If so, why do you criticize yourself for not having everything figured out yet?

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

I recently subscribed to a fantastic newsletter called “Great Things.” I loved this week’s issue so much that I am quoting it in this article. Unfortunately, my favorite parts of the newsletter are drawings with captions that I cannot copy and paste. They illustrate and expand upon the questions in my title and subtitle, but you’ll have to click the link above to see them.

Here’s one powerful quote that jumped out at me:

It took me a long time to train myself to see uncovering something ‘negative’ as a fabulous opportunity for growth (instead of something to berate myself over).

Our rational brains understand that multiple attempts are necessary to master any skill. We don’t criticize toddlers for not remembering how to walk when they take a few steps and then fall down. We know they will have to walk, fall, get up, walk some more, fall again, get back up, and repeat that process until all of that practice enables them to walk without falling.

We understand that anyone who wants to learn how to play an instrument will have to hit a lot of wrong notes and practice often before they can play it well. We realize that even professional musicians must practice to maintain their skills, warm up before live performances, or learn new music.

Yet we forget or don’t apply that knowledge when it comes to our mental health or anything else about ourselves we want to improve. At least I do. I learn a new skill, like how to challenge negative thoughts. I practice it a few times until I know I’m capable of doing it. From then on, I beat myself up whenever I discover I’m not as good at it as I thought I was (or think I should be by now).

My rational brain knows that approach is not logical or helpful. The rest of me is still learning that truth and needs to be reminded of it as often as possible. My goal is to be able to honestly say what that other newsletter’s author did:

Supporting myself with curiosity and self-compassion is now much more the norm than the exception.

What truths do you need to remember as you learn and grow? What skill do you need to practice more often?