My Journey From Living in Hotels and Wanting To Die To Helping Others Change Their Lives

Proof that horrible experiences can lead to wonderful new beginnings

Photo by Amaru CAZENAVE on Unsplash

After a severe depression almost killed me and kept me from working, my husband and I couldn’t afford to pay $200/month more to renew our lease. A friend and her spouse offered to let us move into their spare bedroom.

So we moved out of our apartment and began the three hour drive to their place. I had no idea that things were about to go from bad to worse when I published these words in a January 2023 Changing Lives post:

I didn’t plan to write this from a hotel room. … [We] have been here for almost a week, after moving out of the horrible hotel we were in last week. The friend we expected to stay with tested positive for COVID the day we were supposed to move in.

She said she had found us a cheap hotel … we were too tired to investigate other options. We parked the U-Haul truck full of furniture and other possessions to be unloaded into a storage unit the next morning ...

My friend's COVID led to pneumonia, so a longer hotel stay became necessary. I couldn’t endure another week there. … I found a reasonably priced better option. We’re here until Monday, when we should finally be able to move in to her house.

We didn’t move in that Monday - or ever. My friend remained sick; further testing revealed that she had cancer. Treatment would further compromise her immune system, so we couldn’t live with her as planned. We had to find other housing quickly. That was difficult given our financial situation, but we found a place willing to rent to us. The next chapter of our life was not starting the way that we had expected it to.

A New Beginning

We’re in a time of new suns. We have no idea what we could be, but everything that we have been is falling apart. So it’s time to change.

- adrienne maree brown

Our next challenge was to figure out how we’d pay the rent. A combination of financial help from family and friends, hard work, creative thinking, and unexpected opportunities enabled us to do that.

My husband started driving for Uber. I found part-time jobs I could do from home: online tutoring, peer listening, administrative work, and freelance writing. I wrote for publications like Business Insider and the Texas Observer and continued publishing Changing Lives.

Readers appreciated Changing Lives posts like these about my recovery from a depression with suicidal ideations and the small things that make a big difference to my mental health (especially Octavia, the pink octopus that represents my inner child).

But only eight of nearly 750 Changing Lives subscriptions are paid, so this blog/podcast provides minimal income. More importantly, I know from personal and professional experience that articles, podcasts, and videos rarely provide the level of support that most people need to truly transform their lives.

It’s easier to make meaningful, lasting changes with the encouragement and accountability that either 1:1 coaching or groups provide. I offer both.

Is Now The Time For Your Fresh Start?

If you’re considering a change or in the midst of a difficult transition and unsure of your next steps, go here for more details about my coaching or to schedule a free call. I won’t tell you what to do; I’ll listen and help you decide how you want to move forward. If you choose to get coaching, I’ll support you as you take actions based on your choice and deal with internal and external resistance.

If you’d like to know more about the groups I lead, go here. I offer both in-person and online groups; participants in my last online “Spiritual Support for Weary Souls” group loved it so much that they paid extra to continue meeting after the final session!

See what others have said on my testimonials page. One example:

The way you hold space for the reality of transitions—their pain, unpredictability, and the strength they reveal in us—is so deeply resonant. Your acknowledgment that it’s okay to struggle, to grieve, to adapt imperfectly feels like a warm embrace for all of us navigating unexpected changes.

Unwanted changes are painful, and even new beginnings we choose and look forward to can be difficult. Whatever 2026 holds for you, I hope you find the support and encouragement you need to make the best of it. And I hope you’ll reach out to me if you need additional support, so that I can provide or help you find it!

P.S. As explained in last week’s post, I’m now limiting comments to paid subscribers in order to create a safer space and reduce spam. I’m also offering live monthly Zoom gatherings for paid subscribers on the second Sunday of each month at 1 PM Central. The first one is on Sunday, January 11; paid subscribers will be emailed the Zoom link. If you are a paid subscriber and don’t receive the Zoom link, please DM me to request it.