My Life Changed The Day I Quit Gambling
Guest post by Mike Sciandra about his addiction and recovery journey
Note from Wendi: I invited Mike Sciandra to share his story here because I believe the best mental health experts are those who have personally experienced mental health challenges. I have plenty of experience with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, but I’m not a recovering addict. So I appreciate his willingness to write this guest post. The following words are all his; the ellipses (…) indicate words I edited out to reduce the length of this post.
The irony of writing for Changing Lives is not lost on me. When I made the greatest change of my life in December 2020, everything improved in my life. Everything. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, professionally, and socially. Most importantly, I regained my identity, as well as a grasp on my own mental health.
Hi. My name is Mike, and I am a problem gambler.
If you would have asked me four years ago what I would be doing today, writing something like this would have never even been a consideration. While I feel like I had good intentions back then, I was a sick individual. I did not have the tools to even think about entering recovery, much less help others avoid the dark path of addiction that I stumbled down for over two decades.
I have been bet-free since December 2020. As I write this, today is Day 1125 bet-free for me. And yes, I still do count each day. One day at a time is more than a motto. It is a way of life.
I felt as if I hid my addiction well. I maintained a career, family, friends, and positive external persona. But I was sick on the inside. My life was consumed by gambling …
When I had my daughter, I worked and spent as much time with her as possible. When she was not with me, I was either gambling or planning my next gamble. …
I come from a family of gamblers. I was born in Las Vegas, with some of my earliest memories in the arcades of a casino while my family gambled. … I started going to Keno parlors when I was 14, illegally placing bets. I started playing bingo when I was 16. I went to Vegas when I was 20, gambling illegally in several casinos. For my 21st birthday, I went to the casino with my family.
I knew I did not want this life … but creating a better life for yourself is easier said than done if you are unsure what “better” looks like. … I thought my way out was college. And it did help. … In the college classroom, I never felt unimportant. I never felt like the kid with the troubled family or the underlying addiction.
After college, however, was a different story … the bad times outweighed the good. But I put on a good face for social media and pretended like I had everything in order.
Then 2020 came along.
For many years, I dreamed of operating my own business. In 2017, this dream came true, as I turned freelance promotional marketing work into a full-time business.
But we all know what happened in 2020. Events were cancelled, businesses cut marketing budgets. My fundraising clients had no work for me. Everything I had spent the past three years building disappeared within a week.
I was bitter, angry, and scared. … So, I turned to the only thing that was familiar for the past 25 years … The gambling spiraled further out of control. Even when most places were shut down, I found places to go. …
By the summer of 2020, I knew I needed help. … I called a problem gambling helpline, but they put me in touch with counselors that could not take any more clients and did not treat gamblers. So, I just kept gambling, and living the same dangerous lifestyle.
Until December 14, 2020. The last day I made a bet. …
I did not have a proverbial “rock bottom” … but I hit my emotional “rock bottom” that day. … While I might not have been financially bankrupt, … I was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. …
So, on December 15, 2020, I started treatment for disordered gambling.
I can tell you that treatment was intense. I attended three individual and group sessions per week, communicated daily with counselors, and completed tons of assignments. There were times when I laughed, cried, and yelled, all in the same session.
But as I took things day-by-day, my thinking became clearer. I knew I wanted to tell my story, with the hope that it could help others avoid the struggles I faced. So, I continued to work on my recovery. And I still do, every single day.
Through the grace of God, my new way of life has given back to me in ways I never imagined. … In November 2021, I received a job at the place that helped me discover recovery, Choices Treatment Center. As an Education and Outreach Coordinator, I get to share my story, signs and consequences of problem gambling, and recovery resources available to problem gamblers. I have shared my addiction and recovery story on all forms of media … and given presentations to students and faculty on multiple college campuses.
I have also completed coursework … to become a Certified Disordered Gambling Counselor and … Certified Peer Support Specialist. My goal is continuing to gain knowledge and skills, to go along with my lived experience, to help others avoid the pain I have endured. …
The questions that I often ask myself about my recovery usually start with “why”. Why was this the time for me to start a life or recovery? Why did I have to wait so long?
The best answer I can come up with is … I finally admitted that I was powerless over my gambling, and that my life had become unmanageable. … My ways of coping with life were not working, so I had to try something new.
Which also meant I was finally ready to work my butt off, and make recovery happen.
… While I am overjoyed with my life in recovery, life can still be difficult at times. We all have challenges every single day.
But I now know that I can be vulnerable and transparent. … I will not resort to negative behavior to mask my emotions. I have tools to properly support my daughter as she navigates her teenage years. I have a support system that gives me strength that I hope to pass onto others.
In short, I know that by changing my life … I can help others change their lives as well.
If you or someone you know is struggling with gambling addiction, please call 1-800-GAMBLER in the United States. You can also contact Mike at mikesciandrachoicesneb@gmail.com, or via social media (LinkedIn, Facebook, or TikTok) with any questions you might have regarding problem gambling or other co-occurring addiction and mental health struggles.
Thank you, Mike, for sharing your story. I hope readers will be inspired by it and share it with others. I’m also enabling all readers, not just paid subscribers, to comment on this post.
Thank you Wendi, for allowing me this opportunity to share with your audience. Appreciate all that you do!
This is a wonderful post. Thank you, Mike, for sharing your journey. And thank you, Wendi, for sharing Mike's story with your audience. 💜