Painful Truths, Exciting New Possibilities, and Important Information About the Future of Changing Lives
And a heartfelt plea for your support and suggestions
I’ve always been honest with readers about my life. I’ve shared painful past experiences and ongoing struggles as well as my greatest joys and new beginnings I’m excited about. This post includes all of the above.
Next Friday’s post will be the final issue of Changing Lives until January 2025.
There are several reasons for that.
I am still highly emotional about the election results. On Sunday, I commiserated with one church friend who is fleeing to a safer country. I listened to another tell me about boys in his family member’s kindergarten class saying to girls, “Your bodies, our choice.”
I also live in Houston, where a pregnant woman who miscarried died because doctors were unwilling to risk criminal prosecution by providing appropriate medical care. She was 28 and had a one-year-old daughter.
So I’m more determined than ever to do what I can to change realities like these, but wise enough to know that I need time to rest and reflect on how I can best do that first. I don’t want to respond to hate with more hate, or cause additional pain and suffering.
I also need time to do work that generates more income. $35 annually from less than two dozen paid subscribers doesn’t pay the rent. I love writing Changing Lives, but I can’t afford to devote as much time to it as I have been.
My broader vision - the work I want to dedicate my life to and believe I am called and equipped to do - is to accompany and support individuals on their mental and spiritual health journeys. That work also enables me to connect and work with people who want to help create a better world.
I need to figure out how Changing Lives can help me do that. Writing is largely a one-way communication; I’d much rather have meaningful conversations that enable me to learn as well as teach. I believe we all have unique insights and wisdom that can change lives.
I plan to do more public speaking and private coaching next year, as well as create a more interactive virtual community. I envision live Zoom-style online gatherings. Possibilities for those virtual gatherings include support groups, brainstorming or co-working sessions, topical discussions, and book studies.I would love to hear your thoughts about those plans. Which ones, if any, interest you? What else would you like me to offer? How do you think we can work together to create a better world?
Anyone is welcome to comment on this post, and I hope you will! I’ll summarize the feedback I get and share more about my plans for 2025 in next Friday’s post.
Hi Wendi,
I too have been very sad , devastated by the election results. I actually got a small patch of e c z e m a, on the left side of left side of my face due to anxiety about the election, and the surprise I had when Kamala Harris didn't win. The last time my anxiety had become so extreme that I had a bout of e c z e m a (skin rash) was in 1994, the night before a job interview. The skin condition has now faded and it not so red-just slight pink, and is no longer itchy or flaky. I tried the allopathic method recommended by my Dermatologist, a steroid cream. It disappeared for five days and then came back. So that to me was proof that I was affected at a deeper emotional level by my hopes and dreams being dashed because Kamala did not win the election. So I went to a Chinese Acupuncturist whom is very good. He said, yes my system had become "overwhelmed emotionally, mentally, and physically" by my hypothyroidism, and my intense emotional reaction to the election. I have had three treatments with him and feel emotionally, and mentally much better. Please understand that I am 74 years old and have long been an active advocate for women's issues.
When I was 28- a teacher and together with other faculty women at a Community College, I had talked to the College President's office to ask for women counselors whom understood the trauma of rape or threatening rape to come to our college campus, and do workshops for our female and male students. The Rape Counselors came and did workshops on our campus. I also publicly acknowledged to my women students that I had become a victim of mental and physical abuse in my first marriage in 1976 to 1978. As a result a women student on campus came to me for advice on how to get away from her abusive boyfriend. I counseled her to no longer live on campus because he was there, and to go to live with her parents while she was completing her two years of community college. There several other pieces of advice I gave her, such as always be there with other friends if he came around. She completely broke up with him and successly completed her two years of Community College. That was when I lived in Arizona...Since that time of teaching Art at the College level I went back to get a second Master's Degree and eventually became an Art Therapist and also a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. I retired in 2022.
So what kind of reflection and then action do I want to do now? I intend to get a "news Diet" so that I am not surrounded by 24 hour news discussions. Meaning only select a few news outlets to listen to once a day...Like other people here I want to "gather my energy" for me. I have started doing more art. I am going to do a series of "Woman Warriors", and Persistent Women heroes of peace and war times in painting and drawing. The past from "Joan of Ark", Theresa of Avila, St Bernadette, the Mexican Story of the Virgin of Guadelupe, amazing "African Queens", Native American Women heroes. These paintings and drawing will not be illustrative, but modern in approach- like Georgia O'Keefe, Kandinsky, Mary Cassatt, and Marc Chagal. Then I will have an art show of these works in two years. Also, I plan on getting artists (men and women) interested in having a Group Show in a Gallery, loosely called a (political ?) Art show, here in Seattle, in about two years.
It is smart to take time off for a couple of months as several of you have mentioned. There is a true story of an African Queen, who became an African King. Her Story is on netflix, called "Njinga"(several episodes) She and her brother before her had to try to stop the tremendous the amount of slave trade first started by the Portuguese slave captors in the 1600s in the Uganda area of Africa. She was partially successful.
Hi, Wendi. First, I want you to know that I appreciate all the work you have done here and while I often don't take the time to comment ( life!) I find value and support in your words. I too often wonder if the time spent writing and sending out my little love note on Substack is reaching the hearts it needs to and making any impact. That one-way quiet street can be sobering. I think people generally don't make the time to comment here on Substack, mostly due to time. I, too, have needed time to heal from the events of late and have rededicated myself to showing up as the person I want to be in the world. And like you, I am reconsidering how to do more of that in community ( Zoom gatherings, etc.) and in my local in-person community. I spent some of my energy revisiting my website to offer more of those kinds of things. All this long rambling to say - yes! take care of yourself and your spirit, recalibrate, listen deeply, and you will find what is the next right step for. you. I will be here cheering you on. I look forward to whatever shape your offerings take, trusting that you know best what your soul is calling for next. Peace and virtual hugs, Mary