The Most Important Message I Shared During The Sharing Our Stories Summit
If attendees and readers only remember one part of my story, I hope it's this one
One of the first things I said at the Sharing Our Stories Zoom event was this:
Our stories are unique, but they’re connected because the bad chapters of our lives lead to the same beliefs: we’re inadequate and unworthy. We can never be or do enough to earn the love and approval we seek.
We internalize messages from others that we have failed to meet their needs or satisfy their expectations, and that’s unacceptable. It means there’s something wrong with us, some essential quality that we lack.
And so while the details of my story will differ from yours, I think you’ll relate to it. I hope it helps you believe that a better life is always possible, and you have the power to create it.
My desire to help others believe a better life is possible and use their power to create one is also why I publish “Changing Lives.” It’s why I offer 1:1 peer coaching via phone and will soon be co-leading private mental and spiritual health support groups on Zoom.
The details of my mental and spiritual health challenges aren’t as important as the beliefs I had to change to recover and create a life worth living. Because the more people I talk to, memoirs I read, and stories I hear, the more obvious it becomes that those beliefs are widely shared, and maybe even universal.
I used to feel good about myself and think I had value only when I was praised and admired by others. I’ve learned the hard way not to base my self-esteem on other people’s approval. I’ve learned that sacrificing my needs or compromising my values is too high a price to pay to be accepted or admired.
But I sometimes forget what I’ve learned, so I say and do things each day that help me remember. And sharing what I’ve learned and how it’s changed my life with others and helping them change their lives is one of those things.
I hope what I share helps you believe a better life is possible and you have the power to create it. But I couldn’t have changed my life without a lot of help from others, so I also hope you’ll talk with me if you need help to change yours.