8 Comments
User's avatar
Laura Maakestad Sullivan's avatar

I believe you do help others heal by listening to their stories, and that by sharing coping strategies to help others heal, you also help yourself heal.

Expand full comment
Wendi Gordon's avatar

Thank you, Laura. My goal continues to be to do all of those things.

Expand full comment
Laura Maakestad Sullivan's avatar

I do believe that God is a God of love and compassion. However, I understand what several of you are saying about horrible things that have happened to people and also children such as abuse. I don't believe that God has a master plan. As a counselor, I did learn several methods to help people "release" their trauma from sexual abuse. It was very satisfying to hear from these clients I had helped that they felt "freed' from the initial trauma of sexual abuse, some even had this abuse as a child and felt "freed and released from the trauma. What I am saying, is bad things have happened to me: physical abuse from my first husband for a year and a half. Then I chose to get out of that marriage. So I do believe that people can get help to get out of problems or abuse in life. In one community college I taught at, several women faculty and I, got Rape counselors to go to our country community college to teach a workshop about how to cope with being afraid of being raped, and/ or what to do if you have been raped. So I believe that each one of us has a responsibility to ourselves and other human beings to have compassion for each other. In other words, God -as Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, of any other faith can activate us-people, to act out of charity and compassion. To me that is the way GOD can work through all of us. It doesn't mean that I don't get angry as to injustices in our imperfect world...I hate to hear when people of any type, race, creed, or gender are unjustly treated. As an example, if there is any abuse or sexual abuse, and I hear about it, I try to do what I can to encourage people to get healing. I am retired from Counseling after thirty years this past year. People could say to me well you deal with Osteoarthritis Pain in your right hip daily, why aren't you angry about that? (I am getting my right hip replaced on September 25th). (Left Hip was replaced in March of 2023, and is doing very well). Yes, I do get angry about it at times...However, I have to face the facts that I am 72 years old, and had a lower back injury, L4 and L5 discs were herniated when I was 36. So as the surgeon said to me, "Well that back injury put pressure on your hips as you sat counseling people for thirty years. Yes, indeed, that you could say is my "Karma." But you know what this is an imperfect world, and I am doing the best for my hips, along with physical therapy. Even so I believe God is walking with me through this whole process, even when It is difficult. As for the after life, I do believe it exists...I don't believe in Hell, although I do believe people perhaps feel that they have "Hell" happening to themselves on this earth-which I can understand.

Expand full comment
Wendi Gordon's avatar

Thanks for your thoughtful response and all that you shared in it. Like you, I still believe God walks with me and all who are hurting regardless of their spiritual beliefs. I’m still angry and bitter about how some church members and staff have treated me and others I know (and countless others I don’t know). But I also know my anger eats away at me and harms me, not them. Even if they knew the full extent of the hell they put me through and how it’s still affecting me they wouldn’t care. So I continue to work on healing from it and I’m rediscovering that there are still a lot of good people in the church and some churches are doing meaningful ministry that changes lives. I’m also doing what I can to help others heal by listening to their stories and sharing coping strategies that are helping me heal.

Expand full comment
Elizabeth Emerald's avatar

Coincidentally, over the past few weeks, I've posted several pieces on what I consider insipid--and abhorrent--spiritual concepts, (specifically, karrma and reincarnation), notwithstanding which I'm tormented by the prospect that they may be true. I've been agonizing throughout the course of reviewing transcripts of sundry "revelations" from "the afterlife," as recounted by those who've had NDEs. My goal was to debunk the reality on account of inconsistencies--but my plan backfired insofar as I couldn't dismiss the similarities. Consequentially, I've been verging on a breakdown for three weeks; mercifully, my followers (on Medium) have engaged in appealing to my rapidly disingtegrating rational side.

Expand full comment
Wendi Gordon's avatar

I’m sorry you’re struggling and “verging on a breakdown, “ Elizabeth. NDE’s are interesting, because as you said there are many similarities. I know there’s one fascinating book by a neuroscientist or neurologist who totally didn’t believe in an afterlife until his own NDE. There are also some dramatic differences between NDE reports. And one case where a child wrote about their NDE glimpse of heaven in a bestselling book and later (as an adult, I think, but don’t remember the book, author, or other details) said it was all a lie. My stance is that believing in heaven comforts me and if it turns out I’m wrong and death is just the end I haven’t lost anything by believing in heaven while I’m still alive.

And for me rational thinking and spiritual experiences are not incompatible. I see them as a both/and paradox, not an either/or dichotomy. As a pastor, I heard many highly intelligent and rational people describe experiences of deceased loved ones visiting them or being at a loved one’s deathbed when the dying person saw and spoke to people, Jesus, angels, etc that no one else in the room saw.

Expand full comment
Elizabeth Emerald's avatar

This resonates! I am a "Hatetheist" on the grounds that a God who permits evil is monstrous. As to your points, the pap about God's mysterious plan appalls me. Indeed, even if something wonderful ensues from a tragedy, the tragedy is not negated. If even one child had to suffer abuse in order to spur legislation that saves thousands, it nonetheless unacceptable. I too abhor the idea that evil people don't pay for their abominable acts. I think the concept of forgiveness for all is simplistic. Atrocities are unforgiveable and should remain so.

Expand full comment
Wendi Gordon's avatar

I totally get that and have a close friend who is an atheist mostly because of how horribly people who claim to worship God or are church leaders have treated her (she’s Black and transgender).

Expand full comment