How to End 2022 Well
Celebrate your successes instead of dwelling on what you failed to accomplish
Thanks to
for the inspiration for this post and the quotes from his newsletter it contains. His words resonated with me and I thought you might appreciate them, too.Do you end the year by reflecting on the goals you set at the beginning, noticing which ones you did not achieve, and thinking about the changes you need to make to achieve them next year?
If that practice is helpful to you, I’m glad. I can see how it could be a valuable exercise. For me, though, it’s depressing. Chris explains why:
As we all look to the year ahead and take stock of the one that's winding down, it's so very easy to dwell on the goals we didn't hit. The situations that didn't change. The problems we haven't solved. …
On top of that, it becomes impossible not to fixate on everyone who did accomplish what you couldn't. … You start to wonder why you're struggling so hard with something that seems to come so naturally to them.
Comparing ourselves to others reinforces the idea that there is something wrong with us. We are lacking in some way because we have failed at something others find easy.
Chris suggests a way to put those failures in perspective:
Take out a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle of it. On the left side, write down what you think your biggest failures were this past year. Don't hold back. …
Once you’ve finished, move over to the right side of the line and write down everything you've accomplished. … It doesn’t matter how big or small the accomplishments are. But again, don’t hold back. And don't be surprised if this list takes longer to make. Like, a lot longer. This side is always more difficult for me.
This exercise reminds me of a worksheet a therapist once had me fill out. It asked various questions about what I liked about myself - physical characteristics, personality traits, accomplishments I was proud of, etc.
I could not come up with enough positive things to fill in all the blanks, but it was still helpful to think about those things instead of what I considered flaws.
It also reminds me of what I do most nights. I list what I accomplished that day, no matter how insignificant it seems. I include things like washing dishes, doing laundry, reading and replying to emails, texting or talking with a friend, going for a walk, attending a book club … anything I can remember doing that day.
I’m often surprised by how many items end up on my list of accomplishments, particularly on days I think I’ve wasted time and gotten very little done.
As Chris says about his year-end list of failures side-by-side with successes,
It’s a practical way to force a shift in perspective and take ownership over the story you’re telling yourself about your own life.
However you mark the end of 2022, and no matter how difficult this year has been for you, I hope you are able to recognize and celebrate your successes. If you have a specific ritual that helps you do that, I’d love to hear what works for you!
P.S. I won’t be publishing “Changing Lives” for the next two weeks. Look for a new issue on Friday, January 13. You can always browse the archives to read previous issues.
This activity of writing down our failures and accomplishments is so good example for Self-reflection. It’s always so hard to point out the goods and the achievements within us.
I work with kids with special needs and they often fail to point out the positives in themselves. I asked them to talk to others and take their opinion and they were surprised by the variety of positive responses they got!
Such a great post - thanks, Wendi!
I love reviewing my daily log at the end of the day - I think if I didn't run my life using my bullet journal I would certainly employ the 'done list' as a daily tool - it's a real boost to celebrate accomplishments, while acknowledging the things that are yet to be tackled.