Tapping Into Non-toxic Positivity
One way to feel better without pretending everything is wonderful
I am one of those people who find it annoying instead of comforting to be told, “Everything will be fine.” No one who says that can guarantee it. Maybe everything will be okay, or maybe things will be as bad as I fear. There’s no way to be certain in advance or to control all of the factors that influence what happens.
Furthermore, even if many things do turn out well, it’s unrealistic to believe that everything will. And as a perfectionist, I know all too well how harmful it can be to have unrealistic expectations.
Ironically, tapping, a technique I now use regularly that helps me feel better, is something I initially had unrealistic expectations about. I thought I would go from feeling terrible to wonderful after tapping for ten minutes daily for a week or two. Some people do experience dramatic results quickly, and share their transformation stories on the tapping website (link above) or in the Facebook group.
Since I didn’t immediately notice a huge improvement, I gave up tapping within a few months of starting it. I decided it was one more thing that worked for other people but not for me, like antidepressants and TMS.
Later, I decided to give tapping another try and stick with it longer. I’m very glad I did, because it has helped me in many ways. I encourage you to try it and see if it helps you.
There’s a free app (download links for both Apple and Android versions are on the website) that includes a demonstration of tapping and some meditations you can use to help reduce anxiety or challenge negative thoughts. You can also upgrade to the paid version I have, which has lots more tapping meditations, audiobooks, and other extras.
Note: the link above is NOT an affiliate link, and I have no connection to the company that created the app. I just find tapping helpful and think you might, too.
If any of you already use tapping, I’d love to hear more about your experience with it. Has it helped you? If so, how often do you tap? How soon after you began tapping did you start to feel better? Is there a specific issue tapping has helped you deal with?
If you use some other practice that helps you feel better, I’d love to hear more about that, too!
I’m also curious how you respond when someone tries to reassure you by saying something like, “Everything will be fine.” Do statements along those lines comfort or annoy you? If they annoy you, do you let the people who say them know that, pretend you believe them, or remain silent?
Tapping Into Non-toxic Positivity
Oh, I'm with you, regarding "everything will work out." That annoys me a lot. I just feel the other person really isn't listening and is just saying something to get themselves off the hook, so they don't have to actually think for a minute.
Re: tapping, I used it once many years ago, and it worked phenomenally well. Completely turned my anxiety off about the situation I was freaking out about, after ONE session! The next time I tried it a few years later, zero effect. Can't explain it. I've tried it a few more times, to greater and lesser effect. I'm glad you went back to it and you're experiencing some relief. I probably should be a little less sporadic in my practice before I rule it out. :)
Thank you for the link, Wendi. I’m going to try this! 🙂