Thanks for sharing your link, and I share your disgust with the all-pervasive marketing and social media hype about seeing both movies on the same day.
I saw it and thought it was excellent , especially as you said when "Gloria", played by America Ferrara, says all those expectations women had been raised with , Not supposed to be too pretty, not supposed to raise your voice, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, or get out of line." ( I am paraphrasing what Gloria said. For example in my life, my first ambition was to complete graduate school, and get my Master of Fine Arts Degree to teach painting and drawing. So I went to art graduate program at Central Washington State University in 1973 to 1975, (at that time it was Central Washington State College). When I was there, in the painting department I was one of four women graduate students, versus 8 men in the program. Fortunately, at that college, I had two very good professors, one was a man, and one was a woman. I was fortunate to have a woman to have as a role model, and she was a very good artist. The problem with being one of four women is I felt some inner pressure to be really good in order to be recognized. We were subject to a lot of critiques of our artwork, and had to be willing to take criticism of our pieces of artwork at times. Also, there was "social pressure" to be alluring and attractive to the men. I chose not to be bent by that pressure. I didn't sleep with anyone in my graduate program, because I did not want to be coerced by anyone in the program. Finally, a year later, after working hard on my art work; the male professor asked myself and some other students over to his house to have dinner with his wife and family. At that dinner I felt that I was "equal" with the male graduate art students that were there. It was the first time I felt recognized as equal with the men graduates. By that time I was more outspoken and didn't "bow down" to the men in the group if I disagreed with them. I accepted myself as being as good as they were.
Thank you for sharing that experience, Laura. I’m very glad you didn’t bow down to the men or get coerced into sleeping with someone you didn’t want to!
One more footnote to what I said below. I graduated from Central Washington College, with a Master of Arts degree in 1975. And from there I was accepted into the University of Cincinnati "Master of Fine Arts in Art" in 1975 to 1976, with a scholarship, and a teaching assistantship. The University of Cincinnati Graduate Art Department accepted a year worth of Art History and Art Theory Graduate Courses from my Master Art Graduate program at Central Washington State College. I did experience sexual harassment from one male professor at the University of Cincinnati Graduate Art program. I refused his overtures. Fortunately for me he was not directly involved in my training and classes there. So again I can relate to what "Gloria" in the Barbie movie is saying when she says, "Not supposed to be too pretty, or show off, or get out of line."
I was sexually harassed by a male supervisor when I was in seminary. He was an Episcopal priest who wrote a book about how selfish monogamy is because there aren’t enough partners for everyone. Ironically, before I knew that I told him another male had called me “sweet meat,” then realized what he’d said and apologized. My supervisor told me he would start calling me that to help me deal with my “overreaction” to sexism!
Watched a video with Barbie talking about feminism. Loved it. Your quotes fits perfectly and reflects how most (young) women feel. Barbie is also trending on Medium so I guess it would be worth repurposing it (in case you didn't already)
First of all, that Episcopal priest who wrote a book about how selfish monogamy is and has total disrespect for the concept of monogamy and what it means. The commitment to monogamy is as serious a commitment as a his calling to the priesthood SHOULD have been. But then maybe logically he DOESN"T even have a clear calling to the priesthood, because he is not following the example of Christ, who respected his female followers, instead of sexually harassing them. Second of all, it is my belief that there are probably enough partners for everyone if they truly want a partner in a monogamous relationship. ( Now maybe as people get older and their spouse dies, it maybe harder to find a partner...) I am a widow since 2015. It did take me until November of 2019 to find a nice Boyfriend who is a widower; and he and I have a monogamous relationship. We have been together as a couple for four years. We are not getting married. He is is Jewish, and I am Christian. Yet we respect each other, love each other, and are committed to each other.
I am sorry, I did not mean to get on a tangent about myself. This priest as a supervisor was clearly a male Chauvinist Pig, because he also said he would call you "Sweet Meat " because he wanted to help you deal with what he thought was your overreaction to sexism. Believe me, you were not overreacting to sexism. And that is the beauty of the "Barbie Movie", because it shows seriously and also in humorous ways sexism.
Yes to everything you wrote, and I’m happy you’re in a committed relationship with someone you love who loves you too❤️. Steve and I celebrated our 32 anniversary on May 26 with a day trip to the closest beach (Galveston, TX).
Also, I will tell you a sexual harassment experience I had at a Bible Camp at age 14. Before I tell you this experience, I would just like to say as a former Licensed Mental Health Counselor, I do know that there are people I have encountered that are "Sexual Addicts"; which is as serious an addiction as Alcohol or Drugs have ever been, and still are. There are places that sexual addicts can go to to receive treatment for a period of time, just like for Alcohol, and Drugs. There is a book called "Out of the Shadows", which is written by a therapist who treats these people. (I am sorry I can't recall his name).
That being said. When I was 14 years old, my father was a former Lutheran Pastor, whom had received Chaplaincy training in California to become a hospital chaplain. We were living in Anchorage, and he had been a Chaplain in two hospitals in Anchorage. We belonged to a Lutheran Church in Anchorage, and both my father and mother were good friends of our Pastor and his wife. His name was Pastor Glenn Groth, and Norma Groth. Pastor Glenn Groth had confirmed me that year, and I had gone to him for counseling a couple times. (Both Pastor Glenn and Norma Groth are now deceased, and so are my parents). There was a blond haired very attractive man, a stranger who came to church one Sunday. My father was accustomed to ask people that were strangers to come home with him to our house for Sunday dinner. He continued to do this after he was no longer a Pastor, and was now a Chaplain. so this man came to our house for Sunday dinner. All of our family of six kids were accustomed to being polite to strangers at Sunday dinner. Oddly, this man in his late twenties-perhaps, kept flashing a smile at me throughout the dinner and he smiled at me in social interaction after the dinner. It confused me and flattered me, because I was so young. I was only used to boys at school or in my confirmation class shyly smiling at me. I do not know if my father and mother noticed this man smiling at me or not.
Then, fast forward to a week later, when my mother dropped my friend and myself off at Bible Camp (for one week) outside of Anchorage. My friend (I will call her Emily-not her real name) and I were there to go to the cafeteria, facing the lake, for the first evening meal, with my minister-Pastor Groth, other ministers, and the Cabin Counselors. I noticed that Blond Man with a friend of his who had a dark beard looking at us and smiling at Emiliy and I in the Cafeteria as we all ate. I felt again confused, flattered, and this time, uneasy. Emily and I left the cafeteria and went to the lake which was in full view from the windows of the Cafeteria. The blond man and his partner followed us to the Lake shore. The blond man took the hand of my friend Emily, and the dark bearded man came toward me and started to take my hand. Immediately, I said, " Don't touch me! And what is he doing with Emily? I want Emily back here! " The dark bearded man looked shocked and guilty at my reaction, and he asked his friend to bring Emily back. The blond man was kissing Emily!" At this point I was in shock and so was Emily...I was dimly aware that Pastor Groth probably witnessed this happening from the cafeteria windows... Emily and I went to our Camp Counselor Carol to let her know that we got scared of these men. She reported this to Pastor Groth. The next morning I went to Pastor Groth and asked him if those men were still there at the campground, and he reassured Emily and I that they had left the premises of the Bible Camp. I thanked him for letting us know. Now I draw strength from knowing that the incident was witnessed by Camp Staff and Pastor Groth. In retrospect, I have wished that Pastor Groth had come to us right after the incident happened because he would have instantly reassured me.
I am so glad that you were smart and brave enough to get away from those men immediately and tell your female camp counselor! I’m also very glad she reported them and your male pastor reassured you they were gone the next morning.
That’s how it should be for everyone who reports harassment or abuse! Too often in Christian settings, especially if a pastor or youth director is the abuser, victims aren’t believed or get blamed for tempting/seducing their abuser!
That indeed is horrible and inexcusable when in a Christian setting abuse is not reported, and that victims are not believed, and are blamed and not supported. It is true that abusers blame the victim for "tempting " them. And that is completely not the truth. It is the abuser doing the damage, not the other way around. There was a recent article in the New York Times, about a week ago, that experts dealing with victims of sexual trauma or rape now believe that some people actually "freeze", out of shock and trauma reaction, when they are abused. In the article, they are trying to educate the police force about this, because many in the Police did not know this, and the Police wondered why victims didn't fight back, or escape.
Yes, not just the police but many others can’t understand why some victims don’t fight off their attackers, report the abuse immediately, or press charges. Many people also don’t understand why domestic abuse survivors stay with or go back to their abusive partners.
But sometimes those choices are necessary to survive. Sometimes victims come to believe the lie that the abuse is their fault and are too ashamed to report it. Sometimes they don’t want the added trauma of testifying in court or getting unwanted publicity.
No one can fully understand what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes. And the way I choose to handle a situation or think is the best way to deal with it may not be possible or right for someone else.
Just a side note for anyone negatively affected by “purity culture” teachings and other messages that consensual sexual relationships between unmarried people of any sexual orientation are immoral.
Pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber wrote a wonderful book called “Shameless” that challenges that message and mentions how wonderful and healing her sexual relationship with the man she was dating when she wrote it was.
She has also written other great books and now has a Substack I subscribe to called “The Corners.” If you’re a progressive Christian who isn’t offended by her language (she curses like a sailor), check it out!
Saw the movie recently, and found my self thinking spot on. I cried with the encounter of Barbie and the creator. Ached with Barbie. And realized we all have the responsibility to make the real world more open and merge our dreams with reality. And most of all not put expectations on people as to who they should be. Of course our dream world is hopefully more humane!
Yes, not putting expectations on others (beyond basic reasonable ones like don’t intentionally harm others, spread lies, etc) is so important. And not dismissing people as bad or ignorant just because we know one thing about them that we don’t like.
Wrote about the movie marketing, not the message of the movie which I already heard was excellent. https://johnmoyermedlpcncc.substack.com/p/sick-of-barbieheimer
Thanks for sharing your link, and I share your disgust with the all-pervasive marketing and social media hype about seeing both movies on the same day.
I’ve not seen it yet. I hope to soon. Your review was great. Thanks.
You’re welcome. I hope you’ll let me know what you think of the movie when you do see it.
I saw it and thought it was excellent , especially as you said when "Gloria", played by America Ferrara, says all those expectations women had been raised with , Not supposed to be too pretty, not supposed to raise your voice, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, or get out of line." ( I am paraphrasing what Gloria said. For example in my life, my first ambition was to complete graduate school, and get my Master of Fine Arts Degree to teach painting and drawing. So I went to art graduate program at Central Washington State University in 1973 to 1975, (at that time it was Central Washington State College). When I was there, in the painting department I was one of four women graduate students, versus 8 men in the program. Fortunately, at that college, I had two very good professors, one was a man, and one was a woman. I was fortunate to have a woman to have as a role model, and she was a very good artist. The problem with being one of four women is I felt some inner pressure to be really good in order to be recognized. We were subject to a lot of critiques of our artwork, and had to be willing to take criticism of our pieces of artwork at times. Also, there was "social pressure" to be alluring and attractive to the men. I chose not to be bent by that pressure. I didn't sleep with anyone in my graduate program, because I did not want to be coerced by anyone in the program. Finally, a year later, after working hard on my art work; the male professor asked myself and some other students over to his house to have dinner with his wife and family. At that dinner I felt that I was "equal" with the male graduate art students that were there. It was the first time I felt recognized as equal with the men graduates. By that time I was more outspoken and didn't "bow down" to the men in the group if I disagreed with them. I accepted myself as being as good as they were.
Thank you for sharing that experience, Laura. I’m very glad you didn’t bow down to the men or get coerced into sleeping with someone you didn’t want to!
One more footnote to what I said below. I graduated from Central Washington College, with a Master of Arts degree in 1975. And from there I was accepted into the University of Cincinnati "Master of Fine Arts in Art" in 1975 to 1976, with a scholarship, and a teaching assistantship. The University of Cincinnati Graduate Art Department accepted a year worth of Art History and Art Theory Graduate Courses from my Master Art Graduate program at Central Washington State College. I did experience sexual harassment from one male professor at the University of Cincinnati Graduate Art program. I refused his overtures. Fortunately for me he was not directly involved in my training and classes there. So again I can relate to what "Gloria" in the Barbie movie is saying when she says, "Not supposed to be too pretty, or show off, or get out of line."
I was sexually harassed by a male supervisor when I was in seminary. He was an Episcopal priest who wrote a book about how selfish monogamy is because there aren’t enough partners for everyone. Ironically, before I knew that I told him another male had called me “sweet meat,” then realized what he’d said and apologized. My supervisor told me he would start calling me that to help me deal with my “overreaction” to sexism!
Amen! what she said.
Just saw the movie thanks for putting into words so much of what I was feeling. Definitely thought provoking.
I haven't seen the movie, but thanks for sharing this. I will give it a try once it's available on my tv, lol. Maybe it already is! 💜
Watched a video with Barbie talking about feminism. Loved it. Your quotes fits perfectly and reflects how most (young) women feel. Barbie is also trending on Medium so I guess it would be worth repurposing it (in case you didn't already)
Thanks, Kristina. I haven’t repurposed it for Medium but that’s an excellent suggestion!
Super! Have a sunny Sunday and talk soon 🌞
I haven't seen the Barbie movie but now I really want to. Thanks for an inspiring read.
Thanks for letting me know my post was inspiring for you. If you do see Barbie, please come back and comment here about it.
I haven't seen the film but gosh, I'm certainly going to now! Thanks, Wendi!
Glad I inspired you to see it, Rebecca! Let me know how you like it when you do.
First of all, that Episcopal priest who wrote a book about how selfish monogamy is and has total disrespect for the concept of monogamy and what it means. The commitment to monogamy is as serious a commitment as a his calling to the priesthood SHOULD have been. But then maybe logically he DOESN"T even have a clear calling to the priesthood, because he is not following the example of Christ, who respected his female followers, instead of sexually harassing them. Second of all, it is my belief that there are probably enough partners for everyone if they truly want a partner in a monogamous relationship. ( Now maybe as people get older and their spouse dies, it maybe harder to find a partner...) I am a widow since 2015. It did take me until November of 2019 to find a nice Boyfriend who is a widower; and he and I have a monogamous relationship. We have been together as a couple for four years. We are not getting married. He is is Jewish, and I am Christian. Yet we respect each other, love each other, and are committed to each other.
I am sorry, I did not mean to get on a tangent about myself. This priest as a supervisor was clearly a male Chauvinist Pig, because he also said he would call you "Sweet Meat " because he wanted to help you deal with what he thought was your overreaction to sexism. Believe me, you were not overreacting to sexism. And that is the beauty of the "Barbie Movie", because it shows seriously and also in humorous ways sexism.
Yes to everything you wrote, and I’m happy you’re in a committed relationship with someone you love who loves you too❤️. Steve and I celebrated our 32 anniversary on May 26 with a day trip to the closest beach (Galveston, TX).
Yay! So glad you and Steve celebrated your 32nd anniversary in May! That is testament to a committed relationship! God bless you both!
Also, I will tell you a sexual harassment experience I had at a Bible Camp at age 14. Before I tell you this experience, I would just like to say as a former Licensed Mental Health Counselor, I do know that there are people I have encountered that are "Sexual Addicts"; which is as serious an addiction as Alcohol or Drugs have ever been, and still are. There are places that sexual addicts can go to to receive treatment for a period of time, just like for Alcohol, and Drugs. There is a book called "Out of the Shadows", which is written by a therapist who treats these people. (I am sorry I can't recall his name).
That being said. When I was 14 years old, my father was a former Lutheran Pastor, whom had received Chaplaincy training in California to become a hospital chaplain. We were living in Anchorage, and he had been a Chaplain in two hospitals in Anchorage. We belonged to a Lutheran Church in Anchorage, and both my father and mother were good friends of our Pastor and his wife. His name was Pastor Glenn Groth, and Norma Groth. Pastor Glenn Groth had confirmed me that year, and I had gone to him for counseling a couple times. (Both Pastor Glenn and Norma Groth are now deceased, and so are my parents). There was a blond haired very attractive man, a stranger who came to church one Sunday. My father was accustomed to ask people that were strangers to come home with him to our house for Sunday dinner. He continued to do this after he was no longer a Pastor, and was now a Chaplain. so this man came to our house for Sunday dinner. All of our family of six kids were accustomed to being polite to strangers at Sunday dinner. Oddly, this man in his late twenties-perhaps, kept flashing a smile at me throughout the dinner and he smiled at me in social interaction after the dinner. It confused me and flattered me, because I was so young. I was only used to boys at school or in my confirmation class shyly smiling at me. I do not know if my father and mother noticed this man smiling at me or not.
Then, fast forward to a week later, when my mother dropped my friend and myself off at Bible Camp (for one week) outside of Anchorage. My friend (I will call her Emily-not her real name) and I were there to go to the cafeteria, facing the lake, for the first evening meal, with my minister-Pastor Groth, other ministers, and the Cabin Counselors. I noticed that Blond Man with a friend of his who had a dark beard looking at us and smiling at Emiliy and I in the Cafeteria as we all ate. I felt again confused, flattered, and this time, uneasy. Emily and I left the cafeteria and went to the lake which was in full view from the windows of the Cafeteria. The blond man and his partner followed us to the Lake shore. The blond man took the hand of my friend Emily, and the dark bearded man came toward me and started to take my hand. Immediately, I said, " Don't touch me! And what is he doing with Emily? I want Emily back here! " The dark bearded man looked shocked and guilty at my reaction, and he asked his friend to bring Emily back. The blond man was kissing Emily!" At this point I was in shock and so was Emily...I was dimly aware that Pastor Groth probably witnessed this happening from the cafeteria windows... Emily and I went to our Camp Counselor Carol to let her know that we got scared of these men. She reported this to Pastor Groth. The next morning I went to Pastor Groth and asked him if those men were still there at the campground, and he reassured Emily and I that they had left the premises of the Bible Camp. I thanked him for letting us know. Now I draw strength from knowing that the incident was witnessed by Camp Staff and Pastor Groth. In retrospect, I have wished that Pastor Groth had come to us right after the incident happened because he would have instantly reassured me.
I am so glad that you were smart and brave enough to get away from those men immediately and tell your female camp counselor! I’m also very glad she reported them and your male pastor reassured you they were gone the next morning.
That’s how it should be for everyone who reports harassment or abuse! Too often in Christian settings, especially if a pastor or youth director is the abuser, victims aren’t believed or get blamed for tempting/seducing their abuser!
That indeed is horrible and inexcusable when in a Christian setting abuse is not reported, and that victims are not believed, and are blamed and not supported. It is true that abusers blame the victim for "tempting " them. And that is completely not the truth. It is the abuser doing the damage, not the other way around. There was a recent article in the New York Times, about a week ago, that experts dealing with victims of sexual trauma or rape now believe that some people actually "freeze", out of shock and trauma reaction, when they are abused. In the article, they are trying to educate the police force about this, because many in the Police did not know this, and the Police wondered why victims didn't fight back, or escape.
Yes, not just the police but many others can’t understand why some victims don’t fight off their attackers, report the abuse immediately, or press charges. Many people also don’t understand why domestic abuse survivors stay with or go back to their abusive partners.
But sometimes those choices are necessary to survive. Sometimes victims come to believe the lie that the abuse is their fault and are too ashamed to report it. Sometimes they don’t want the added trauma of testifying in court or getting unwanted publicity.
No one can fully understand what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes. And the way I choose to handle a situation or think is the best way to deal with it may not be possible or right for someone else.
Just a side note for anyone negatively affected by “purity culture” teachings and other messages that consensual sexual relationships between unmarried people of any sexual orientation are immoral.
Pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber wrote a wonderful book called “Shameless” that challenges that message and mentions how wonderful and healing her sexual relationship with the man she was dating when she wrote it was.
She has also written other great books and now has a Substack I subscribe to called “The Corners.” If you’re a progressive Christian who isn’t offended by her language (she curses like a sailor), check it out!
Saw the movie recently, and found my self thinking spot on. I cried with the encounter of Barbie and the creator. Ached with Barbie. And realized we all have the responsibility to make the real world more open and merge our dreams with reality. And most of all not put expectations on people as to who they should be. Of course our dream world is hopefully more humane!
Yes, not putting expectations on others (beyond basic reasonable ones like don’t intentionally harm others, spread lies, etc) is so important. And not dismissing people as bad or ignorant just because we know one thing about them that we don’t like.