What Will Your Future Self Thank You For?

A question to ponder as Thanksgiving Day approaches in the United States

Photo by Kushagra Kevat on Unsplash

Have you ever wondered what your future self will thank you for doing now? Of course, there’s no way to know for sure because our future selves will be different from our current selves. As we have new experiences or realize what we used to think was important no longer matters to us, our beliefs and priorities change.

However, there are some things we can do now that we can be reasonably certain our future selves will thank us for.

One way to identify those things is to look at the most common regrets expressed by dying people. Bronnie Ware, who provided palliative care to many dying patients, wrote about their top five regrets:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

As you read that list, what jumps out at you? One thing I noticed immediately is that four of the five are regrets about things people wish they had done but didn’t. Even the one that is expressed as regret over an action they did take - working so hard - reflects the wish that they had done something else instead, like spend more time with family and friends.

Does that surprise you? If you’re anything like me, most of your regrets have to do with something you did say or do and now wish you hadn’t. We can’t go back in time and change those actions, though, so it’s a waste of time and energy to dwell on them.

What we can change are the choices we make from this point forward. What we do today has the potential to dramatically change the quality of life our future selves will have.

So as you ponder the question, “What will my future self thank me for?” consider what you are not doing now but could do that is likely to benefit your future self. What would you like to be different about your life in the future, and what can you start doing now to make that more likely to happen?

Maybe you can reconnect with friends you’ve lost touch with. Maybe you can quit the job you hate but feel obligated to keep because others expect you to. Maybe you can honestly share your feelings with someone you trust to help you understand and release those emotions. Maybe you can take up a new hobby or make more time in your schedule for purely pleasurable activities.

What comes to mind for you? Do you have a specific idea of something you can do now that your future self will thank you for? If you’re comfortable sharing it, I’d love to know your idea and how you plan to implement it.