I like this essay. It brings to mind the internal struggle we all experience between:
True Self
False Self &
Idealized Self
I have long since gotten free of my False Self, thankfully. I am mainly lodged in my True Self, but that old Idealized Self sometimes tugs at it, tying to persuade me that humble accomplishments are too humble.
To quote Wendi, "I am happiest when I listen to my inner wisdom and do what I know is right for me, regardless of what others think or how they react."
More good advice, and one of the most ingrained problems to overcome, related to self-compassion. I think many of us have "porous boundaries" as a result of childhood developmental environments, where we are not given unconditional love, and we have to act or behave in ways that please or mollify our caregivers to get that love. This then becomes hard to change as adults (and why we need to re-parent ourselves).
Yes, you are absolutely right, Gary! Society reinforces that love (or at least approval, which many of us equate with love) is conditional, too. Teachers reward good performance with good grades, employers with promotions and/or raises (well, they used to), some relationships end when we don’t go along with the other person’s wishes, etc.
I like this essay. It brings to mind the internal struggle we all experience between:
True Self
False Self &
Idealized Self
I have long since gotten free of my False Self, thankfully. I am mainly lodged in my True Self, but that old Idealized Self sometimes tugs at it, tying to persuade me that humble accomplishments are too humble.
To quote Wendi, "I am happiest when I listen to my inner wisdom and do what I know is right for me, regardless of what others think or how they react."
Thanks for reading and commenting, Eli!
More good advice, and one of the most ingrained problems to overcome, related to self-compassion. I think many of us have "porous boundaries" as a result of childhood developmental environments, where we are not given unconditional love, and we have to act or behave in ways that please or mollify our caregivers to get that love. This then becomes hard to change as adults (and why we need to re-parent ourselves).
Yes, you are absolutely right, Gary! Society reinforces that love (or at least approval, which many of us equate with love) is conditional, too. Teachers reward good performance with good grades, employers with promotions and/or raises (well, they used to), some relationships end when we don’t go along with the other person’s wishes, etc.