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Elizabeth Armstrong's avatar

So true and yet I have never thought of that!

I work in the social service field and I am walking my dad through a huge physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual life change since we moved my mom to memory care. I hold space for others often and enjoy it. Now I need to practice doing the same for myself!

Thank you for sharing!

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Wendi Gordon's avatar

You’re welcome, Elizabeth. I’m glad my words helped remind you to care for yourself, too.

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Coffee Times's avatar

What a lovely piece. Holding space can also be reading another writer's piece especially relating emotion and personal experience. Some times when it is not appropriate to say it in person, it can still be expressed in written words and the healing might just be better in some occasion. Thank you Wendi for this piece, I enjoy it.

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Wendi Gordon's avatar

Thank you, Winston. I agree that reading someone else’s story can help us hold space for ourselves, relate their experiences to ours, and learn new ways to help ourselves heal.

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Gary Sharpe's avatar

Excellent observations and practical action points. I wonder if it possible to hold space for our inner critique too? This behavioural response to acute stress (perceived threats) by humans exists for vital reasons of survival in dangerous situations, and it really is meant to protect us. Therefore, the brainstem gets programmed by past negative experiences, and then makes us err on the side of caution of to avoid re-experiencing these negative outcomes. In order to do this, the brainstem naturally speaks to us through a negative inner voice, using self-doubt and guilt to ensure we don't put ourselves in harms ways, at least according to its evaluations of potential threats to our own safety. Unfortunately, in the modern world we tend to be stressed a lot or most of the time, which is actually a highly unnatural situation, causing the programs of the brainstem and the associated negative inner voice to become amplified above healthy levels.

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Wendi Gordon's avatar

Absolutely, Gary, and thanks for sharing that explanation of our inner critic. I agree it is trying to keep us safe, and listening to and befriending it is very important. The key is to listen compassionately while still not allowing its fears to hold us back and prevent us from taking the risks necessary to grow and achieve our goals.

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Eli Merritt's avatar

Thank you. Spot on and very uplifting. 

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Wendi Gordon's avatar

Thanks, Eli, and welcome!

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