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June Girvin's avatar

How true this is, Wendi, and how quickly we let ourselves fall into the bear pit of self-criticism. Sometimes it takes the tiniest thing to bring confidence crashing down, other times resilience is more robust. Wishing you good days.

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Wendi Gordon's avatar

Thank you, June. I wish you good days, too.

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Kathryn Vercillo's avatar

Thanks for the mention, especially alongside the names of two writers I really admire!

I don't typically engage in black-and-white thinking about others (I do insomuch as I'm human but it's not one of my more prevalent tendencies) but I do sometimes find myself doing it to myself, especially during periods of bad depression. I become all or nothing. It helps a lot to have a support system that will reflect back to me that this isn't true. <3

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Wendi Gordon's avatar

Yes, my husband is very supportive and reminds me it’s not true when I call myself incompetent or whatever.

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Laura Maakestad Sullivan's avatar

Very clearly written Wendi! I didn't realize how much my pain (which comes and goes) from my osteoarthritis in my right hip was affecting my attitude towards myself. I will get my right hip replaced September 25th. At times I have become judgmental of myself, in that I I get two tasks done per day and then I get fatigued from the pain. I spoke to my therapist about this issue yesterday, and she said "Just tell yourself you are on light duty until a month after your surgery." Remembering this-that I have needed to stop judging myself and scale down my expectations of myself has really helped me. I have been kinder to myself.

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Wendi Gordon's avatar

I’m glad you are remembering not to judge yourself based on what you could accomplish if you weren’t worn out by the pain. Being kind to myself is an ongoing struggle, but I am getting better at it.

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Paolo Peralta's avatar

It is day by day mindful learning. ❤️

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Wendi Gordon's avatar

Yes, and some days we forget what we’ve learned!

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Yana Bostongirl's avatar

So true - I had received some awful news a few weeks back in it reflected in my interactions throughout the day - it wasn't because I am rude or anything but I couldn't focus on anything else but the news...

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Wendi Gordon's avatar

Yes, I have noticed how much easier it is for me to get annoyed with people and express my irritation at them when I am actually angry or upset about something that has nothing to do with them.

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Roshana Ariel's avatar

So beautifully said, Wendi. This is really important to remember.

I do the same thing, beating myself up because I'm such a loser, or "always" make mistakes, or "never" learn. It's good to be reminded to apply a little nuance, and remember there are good days and bad days, and nobody's perfect.

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Wendi Gordon's avatar

Thanks, Roshana. I definitely needed the reminder and am glad you appreciated it too!

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