I do believe looking back has helped me put into perspective how I can help myself navigate problems within myself, as well as with other people. For example, I was talking to a consult group of two other counselors today. We meet once a month to discuss difficult cases of people who we are counseling. I was telling them that since I am retiring from counseling at the end of July 2022, I have been reflecting on what I learned the past 21 years I have been in the counseling field.
I would say the chief things I have learned in working with people in counseling is to have patience, and to give them loving space, to first try to learn Self Acceptance, instead of constant judging themselves for what they have done wrong. And if they are looking at the past to use the past to clobber/blame themselves or clobber/blame others, that I believe is too negative an approach. Sure if they need to express anger or hurt towards insensitive, parents, teachers, friends, wives, husbands, or others I taught them a way to state those feelings, and then over a period of grieving, finally let those feelings go so that they can heal.
I believe God and many saints I have "talked" to in my meditations have helped me create a loving space for others in counseling, and for myself over the past 22 years. My loving space happens to be in my heart. Recently, I found my inner voice arguing with God because I was finding I was struggling to forgive a close friend. Finally, after tears and feeling love in my heart once again for my close friend, I let my anger dissolve in the love I felt from God.
The Body Keeps Score is a book I recently read. Present events can trigger stored memories and the feelings associated with them. Recently I was going through pictures and stumbled upon one of me on my first wedding day! Lots has happened since then, divorce and remarriage. In fact it was 52 years ago but it triggered the joy I felt that day pure joy without all the baggage of what has happened between. Quick memory and back to the present but it stirred in me the memory and feeling of joy. Joy is not dead in me in spite of life's current circumstances. What a great learning!
I do believe looking back has helped me put into perspective how I can help myself navigate problems within myself, as well as with other people. For example, I was talking to a consult group of two other counselors today. We meet once a month to discuss difficult cases of people who we are counseling. I was telling them that since I am retiring from counseling at the end of July 2022, I have been reflecting on what I learned the past 21 years I have been in the counseling field.
I would say the chief things I have learned in working with people in counseling is to have patience, and to give them loving space, to first try to learn Self Acceptance, instead of constant judging themselves for what they have done wrong. And if they are looking at the past to use the past to clobber/blame themselves or clobber/blame others, that I believe is too negative an approach. Sure if they need to express anger or hurt towards insensitive, parents, teachers, friends, wives, husbands, or others I taught them a way to state those feelings, and then over a period of grieving, finally let those feelings go so that they can heal.
I believe God and many saints I have "talked" to in my meditations have helped me create a loving space for others in counseling, and for myself over the past 22 years. My loving space happens to be in my heart. Recently, I found my inner voice arguing with God because I was finding I was struggling to forgive a close friend. Finally, after tears and feeling love in my heart once again for my close friend, I let my anger dissolve in the love I felt from God.
The Body Keeps Score is a book I recently read. Present events can trigger stored memories and the feelings associated with them. Recently I was going through pictures and stumbled upon one of me on my first wedding day! Lots has happened since then, divorce and remarriage. In fact it was 52 years ago but it triggered the joy I felt that day pure joy without all the baggage of what has happened between. Quick memory and back to the present but it stirred in me the memory and feeling of joy. Joy is not dead in me in spite of life's current circumstances. What a great learning!